I got called a slut by a bunch of girls that work at Hooters..wtf is that shit? explain that to me
i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
do you think there was ever a doctor who smelled his finger after giving a prostate exam?
there should be a national holiday dedicated to how high i am
Last day of classes. 1st day attending every class. I'm proud of myself
I totally just potholed and almost crashed while trying to lick salsa off my boob.
Babysitting for someone you accidently sent nudies to is so fucking awkward.
It was either the harsh truths I was divulging or the liquor..... But either way, I made mom puke
I JUST ATE A STRANGE BURRITO, I SHOULD NOT BE EXPECTED TO KNOW ANYTHING RIGHT NOW.
I don't even know man. I was to busy having beer showered on me and grabbing some balls
Hey man, sorry about punching you in the face, also about turning the shower on you. I just really wanted you to drink some water.
Guy just came in wearing only shorts, on his hand was written - my name is ... Call ... And tell them where i am, thanx - in permanent marker, ordered his favorite dish, and left w/out touching it. It's snowing outside.
I can feel your movements against the shared wall we are leaning up against. It makes me feel as though we are one. Queue Pocahontas song...
You kept yelling "NO CAPES" at me for no apparent reason
I sense naked hashbrown eating in my near future.
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