pray for me tomorrow cause I have a midterm that I've mostly studied for by watching Bill Nye episodes on the subject...
I just noticed that when I sneeze...my nipples get hard.
And to think..we used to do everything sober...
Just seen a scantily clad pirate with 2 36 packs of natty ice on a bike riding with no hands. If she doesn't hit a speed bump she's golden and should be on the next Americas got talent.
Am I the only one creeped out by the guy asleep behind our couch?
you just knocked on the window of the ambulance and waved at me as we drove away
We had to go visit his dealer in the hospital to buy some weed.
I've never heard of anyone celebrating the holidays with a fuck buddies family before.
....I'll be expecting my trophy when I return.
i cannot be the only guy who has bought the every day with rachael ray magazine for use as porn
She insisted we fuck to Ludacris, not how I imagined popping her lesbian cherry would be. I tried delt and I liked it.
I felt that there wouldn't be enough planB and forgiveness to go around
Don't worry I sent a creepy stalker message to a guy I slept with 6 years ago, Sunday Funday rock bottom
Also fuck yeah conspiracy
I didn’t want to see that boob. I told her not to show me but she said “no, I’m going to show you”
whatever, tonight I’ll be getting my ass eaten by an aussie so we good
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