I love black thongs
why are there goldfish crackers all over my bed?
you decided you wanted to name them & keep them as pets.
Pls tell me she didnt actually sign a nutsack.
"what do u think of parents raising kids to be peeping toms" said guy on bus 2 me
Sarah Palin just quit. Happy Independence day!
God Bless America!
all we ever talk about is how much i like your dick or my drug problem.
I'll never ask another girl to get on top again, that girl from the bar last night got on top and shit diareah all over my ball sack while she was cumming.
There is no excuse for watching a Jesse McCartney movie.
Best. Handjob. Ever.
I'm guessing Kelly is over?
Nope. Home alone.
Saying we were separated at birth, got on a ship and sailed here via onion barrel from Somalia didn't help our case at all....
Am I undercharging for one hour of sex per essay? I need a serious business answer.
When did it become appropriate to call your mother the morning after? While still naked in bed? WHEN?!
I'm about to initiate a game of drunk UNO.
Drunk UNO has officially been banned from now until forever.
The novelty of Nekkid Straight Roommate has faded.
Oh and it took quite a bit of doing, but I managed to wipe my butt with the hat you left in my car
Randomize
