The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
I hope you fall in a pool of honey in an immensely populated region of bears.
They had miseltoe over the keg.... thats cheating
They said an hour before I even see a doctor...and they noticed the shots tally on my arm.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He sent me a picture of his ass and said the backdoor is open. Almost grabbed my keys and a condom before I saw it was a group text. Not nearly drunk enough for his desperation.
Did you guys seriously let me trade my id for a kebab last night??
Let's get really high and wear fake mustaches and try not to laugh at each other...
I slept naked with a towel wrapped around my waist in case I pissed the bed again
WHAT HAS MY LIFE COME TO I'M MAKING A SCARF FOR A PENIS
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The name of the man in your bed is not Ryan. I can't remember what his name is but that is wrong
He made me a flamingo drink and now I don't know why things are the way they are.
You’re about to have a sober threesome with a rando at a Fenway bar?
Is Facebook telling the truth about your nipples?!
My mum just told me to stop being so pathetic and just find someone to have sex with, even if I don't like them, just be grateful for the sex. Wow.
So what's it like to be pregnant?
It feels like I'm hungover and when I was drunk I was kicked off a mechanical bull and then trampled.
Randomize