I accidentally had phone sex last night
i feel like a thai whore the morning after the navy left.
If he comes back to you and I'm left alone in lonelytown I'm totally going to poo on your car.
dude i just heard a girl tell another girl 'what part of im trying to get laid tonight dont u understand?'
needless to say i wont be back home tonight
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
today's thought: if you're naming your fb album "wEdDiNg dAy!!!!!!" you're too young to get married
her parents were awake and in the next room. i think i deserve a big fucking medal for that orgasm.
I don't want to smoke with her when she's on adderall. She carved her pumpkin for four hours & didn't say a word.
the lady at the gas station just thanked me for wearing clothes this time... i am so confused
I want a MapMyFart App, where I can mark every spot where I have ripped one. Like here.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
also, am i correct in guessing that advertising the size of my hypothetical penis is a turnoff to him?
I'm right down the road from AJ's old house and I'm getting mixed feelings. My vagina is remembering good dick. But the rest of me is remembering horrible times.
The boob job was worth every penny just to see the expression of pure joy on his face the first time he saw them.
are you watching the world series?
I've made out with alex bregman... so yes
I need more 20 something year old penis in my life
it was like 6 shots in and he was automatically my type
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