I know, he also has a fancy car to make up for his tiny penis
Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
wait, did i just see you litter out your window??
umm, i have a hybrid. it cancels out.
it was like getting a handjob from mrs. butterworth
i took my goldfish out of his bowl last night and put him in my bed
So she just apologized to the fire extinguisher.
The worst thing about him living around the corner is that who ever suggests the booty call is the one that walks over.
we got her to the bathroom intime. all she could say was 'now my bladder is empty just like my soul'
woke up in a random sweater in a random bed in a random house on a street I don't recognize..
also, I vaguely remember swapping shirts with some random guy on the dance floor.
Booty called 3 guys from my hospital bed
I wore Yonce braids out last night and made out with a man and a woman #bowdown is right
Yes ma'am. I'm attracted to unconventional people, you know that.
True. I can't judge, half of my sexual partners I only know a false first name & a number. We all have our kinks.
Tomorrow has nothing to do with the threesome
I am the one with the vagina. I get to call it.
YOUR MANICOTTI IS FULL OF LIES
Sorry i meant to send that to my mom
I accidentally made jungle juice last night.
Randomize
