Sry I called you an 8
"it" just moved
So I used to make fun of texas a lot, then I got here and I found a place where I could get my tequila in a to go cup with a straw and I realized that this is the only place I ever want to be
she got pretty angry when i tried to superglue her fingers together.
totally worth getting kicked out for trying to throw my drink on lindsay lohans ankle bracelet.
It's safe to say that bucket of tequila night can NEVER HAPPEN AGAIN.
You were on shrooms and "the trees are crazy green!" is all you could manage.
I'm seeing double so when I get home can we have a threesome?
I'm studying. And by studying I mean I am laying on my floor drinking boones farm alone. Last two weeks. Fuck it.
Leave it to me and my dad to puke on the same guy at the same bar 25 years apart
My mom just asked if I've gotten any girls pregnant how is your day going
Honestly I really just want to do you in the mail truck. Thought about it a lot today
I just walked in on Joel doing a buck naked tripod headstand in front of the mirror so he could see the bug bite on his balls
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
I’ve got a closet full of cosplay outfits and horny boytoy to help me ride out this pandemic
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