Did you see that girl I got with last night?
Girl? Oh...weird...to be honest Ive always thought you were gay..
McDonalds has hash browns for only a quarter!....how many u want?
All of them
I wish there was a "friends who have gained the most weight since high school" filter on facebook for when I am feeling fat.
I miss the days when all my weekends consisted of were 69 and crunchwraps
Breaking personal boundaries is my trademark
This is the most scared i've been of my hands since i did shrooms.
NEVER LET ME DO THIS AGAIN I FEEL LIKE I'M GONNA SHIT MYSELF TO DEATH ARGHHHHHGHHG IS THIS WHAT DYSENTERY FEELS LIKE
Three Architectural classes: $990.00 Architectural supplies: $300.00 Changing majors and using my architectural supplies to roll blunts: Priceless
Ten minute nap on a staircase honey badger don't care
I love you. Mom got to wasted at the wedding that she threw up on my shirt.
no, but he did start crying. who the fuck is 30, covered in tattoos and crys about an ex? get your shit together, man.
You want to groom your chest hair? You mean with a little baby chest hair brush? Because that sounds adorable.
You threw up in your own shoe then wore it home
Should I take a fireball shot or brush my teeth?
She's one of those people who could be either 16 or 23. In which case she's too old for me or in dangerously jailbait territory for you, bro.
Is it something I'm going to want to hug you for or slap you for?
Randomize
