New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport
3am cut off hipster s***'s afro on porch. Opened champagne. Felt like delilah cutting off samson's hair. Then shower & anal. So I guess his powers are intact.
so, the parking garage attendent caught us humping in the car. long story short, we have free parking whenever we want! take that abstinence.
She stopped mid-blowjob to introduce herself to us
Your one and only job is to make sure I am on that bus tomorrow morning with no cat makeup on my face
If you ever get the opportunity, make fun of how small his dick is for me
I only wish the guy being lead around by his cock at the drag show was the weirdest part of my night.
If youre wondering about the smell, i set your hamster on fire. But don't worry he's ok
I have way too big of a thanksgiving food baby to enjoy any of my old high school booty calls
I offered to give him "road head" while he played GTA 5. I think he will be more optimistic about date night in the future.
So my booty call knows your bf. Apparently they were in jail together
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
Do you remember whose house we're in?
There's nothing classy about a pregnant girl at a frat party...remember that.
I think I won an award for shitting and vomiting at the same time.
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