did you make any bad decisions?
many, i pretty much fell in love with a freshman...it doesn't get much better than that
I fear hooking up with people who have white pillowcases because my guyliner always smears on it and i either have to A. sneak out in the night or B. wash it and see them again
i caught the condom in my mouth.. dont ask me how
I think I ruined Robin and Mikes anniversary. I walked in on them fucking, accidentally broke the necklace he gave her, and I stole the keg from their party. Not in that order
I won't be able to make it. Too hung over. Can't hold down fluids. I'm in the bathtub trying to hydrate my body through osmosis. And yes, Tequila Tuesday is totally still on for tonight.
Once you mention butt plugs, conversations always take a turn for the worst.
She told me she's dating him because his apartment is a block from Taco Bell. I don't know how she's not fat.
Nothing says happy gameday like waking up in only an ACC Championship shirt in the qb's bed with a different football player
I just really don't even know what I would do with a boyfriend... Like do I just kiss it and then leave it in the corner? Like how often does it eat??
You are the only person I know who has a fierce hatred for a five year old. Not even five year olds in general, yours is very specific
It's 5am and I come home to you naked on the kitchen table and 3 people I never saw before fucking on the back porch ... and my weed gummy worms are gone. fuck you I'm taking your mom's offer
We only initially bonded over boobs and sarcasm
That guy I hooked up with in new york last 2 statuses are "I'm going to be a father, it's a girl" then "wow syphilis sure does burn" I'm legit scared... What has my life come to.
I'm really excited to meet your new dude! But we really need to find out if he's your cousin first.
Woke up next to a slice if pizza. From what i can tell I tried to plug it into my phone charger. No more blackout wednesdays for this girl.
Randomize
