At a strip club after monster truck rally. You should be here
I just saw the preacher from the church I grew up in while I was buying condoms at the drugstore... he remembered me.
he told me that if i wanted to smoke he could make a piece out of my shoe. were keeking this kid around
Just a smidgen more estrogen and shed be golden
She's got a legit dose of dude going on
No kidding. All she needs is a cheek full of chewing tobacco and I'd have fucked John wayne.
I considered my 2012 starting right when the cop followed the wrong car for the bottle rocket we shot at him
the fact that i already established a hook up buddy for thanksgiving break is genius
Ask her if it hurt when she broke through earths crust as she ascended from hell
I'm at the local community college pretending to be a substitute for a computer applications class
Is it inappropriate to be Drs. Willy Fister and Jess Hewill as a couples costume for Halloween?
Oh we're gynecologists
I chased him for half a mile, lost him then somehow ended up at his house. Is that still considered stalking? I WAS drunk.
If my emotions are below a 3 or above a 7, I'm crying
he just fucked me for my cheese..
The beauty of getting kicked out of college again is I can fuck my professor's brains out and she can't get fired now
You claimed that someone else had vomited underneath you/on your hand
you were very insulted that we didn’t believe you that someone else vommed
Sexual side note: sushi and cum do not mix well. That is all.
Randomize
