At the hair cuttery. A father here with his daughter just answered his phone "ken's whorehouse"...Now I remember why I used to pay more for haircuts.
Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
dude you have to find out what a girl's name is before you sleep with her. if her name is debbie she's boring, if her name is lauren she's an overrated hoebag, if her name is meagan she gived bad head.
He told me he was ok to drive home. Then I found him face-planted in the parking lot.
The Wii Fit is already telling me I'm an alcoholic.
I'm convinced that college is the only place where one can have an existential crisis over what sweatpants to wear
I've decided he is effectively a mouth, hands and cock held together by bad ideas and compliments, and I'm OK with that.
Welcome to drink and talk like a Russian afternoon.
Pirate drinking day will be planned for shortly
I approve this so hard.
Welcome to stoned Saturday. Full of laser tag and beyonce and awesome
I cant see straight, her clothes are all over my floor and I'm covered in bite marks... No I will not go to brunch with you
HAPPY AIDS-LESS FOURTH OF JULY YOU HEALTHY FUCK
at any given day I am at least 60% invested in my work. today I am staggered around 3.5%
Just watched a middle age white woman scream WHY DON'T YOU GO FUCK YOURSELF, HELEN?! Helen seemed absolutely scandalized.
i tried to break up pigeon sex because one looked too young to consent. fireball feminism ftw
The night went downhill somewhere between the time I was triple fisting smirnoff and when I was throwing up in the yard in nothing but my bra while he talk to me about mashed potatoes
Randomize
