OMFG I JUST SAW SOMEONE GIVING SOMEONE ELSE ROAD HEAD AND THEY HIT A POTHOLE. my day has been officially made.
No, veal is cruel because they chain them down, I'm talking about free range human babys here.
my hangover today makes thursday's feel like a bubble bath.
you know...the drug dealer i named my baby after.
No worries you cant actually turn into a wine snob if you brew it in your closet....
i just went 2 months without giving head... thats like two months without coffee. or two months without sun.
My mom and dad are smoking a joint while lecturing me on what to bring and how to act in Europe. I'll finish this glass of wine and head over.
The cab driver doesn't know where we can find an empire state building shaped dildo either!? What is wrong with NYC!?
New high score, I made the stripper choke me while I was getting a lap dance last night
I believe you called it tequila and nipples. The proceeded to strike a pose.
That's what he gets for shittin at the strip club. Who does that??
it's all fun and games til I text you in last nights clothes with a head bleed
Whoever was doing lines off my iPad is a dick. Also bring Gatorade, for I hunger
For Who flesh?
We went there specifically for you to break it off with him and I walk in on you two in the bathroom with his dick in your mouth
but he had pizza... so i win
I give up.
I just thought you should know... Instead of a glass of wine before bed I am having a few shots of 1800. This is what being a night shift nurse will do to you... Standing in your kitchen in your undies doing shots
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