I got fucking wesley sniped last night by that power hoe. How'd it end up on your end? Did you canoodle the stripper enough for her to agree to go to formal?
Question: does he have any sense of self image? He looks slightly like he crawled out of the Euphrates after living as a fish for 20 years
they bought blue cups instead of red...wtf how am i supposed to pretend im on laguna beach??
I sold 10 pepperonis for 5 dollars last night....i fucking love drunk people
Is it wrong that im more embaressed about the karoke than the toplessness?
I didn't think it was possible, but that girl next door is even louder when drunk.
so now that i'm sober i just want to apologize for violating your back seat...... on a brighter note thank you for playing the little mermaid song "kiss the girl," really set the mood.
She passed out in his mom's bed and when we went to go get her she went 'no its cool I live here'.
Don't worry that pussy is fresh, I'd brush my teeth with it.
Off topic, but is it sad that Matthew and I are calculating how much sex we need to have in order to work off a taco bell burrito?
I know you're on vacation but you should know I just walk of shamed through a hotel lobby while leaving a threesome on Friday the 13th. Fuck superstition, I win.
$1 drinks and Playboy theme. I am never leaving this place
I accused him of not drinking enough alcohol and eating tacos after midnight. I was sober and he's not a gremlin. I would say bad.
It's hard picking what to wear when you know the plan is sex. Like can't I just wear my robe let's just simplify this.
I am drunkenly riding a razor scooter up and down the hills of Cincinnati
What in the fuck are you doing with your life
Randomize
