if you wake up with plaid pants on your floor in the morning, you made a bad decision.
dude..why do i always have to pick up the kitty litter after you drink?
i wish i could watch tv and lissten to music at the same time...but still understand both
i think otters can do that
Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
And just when I was about to fall asleep, he hit me in the face, and claimed he's a "violent sleeper".
he tried to make a toast, but hit the moving ceiling fan with his beer instead
he picked an earring up off the bar floor and tried to give it to girls as a present.
Something strange is happening to me, I think I miss hooking up with girls sober
ughh I puked about 4 times on metro, no one seems to like the cool design I made on my shirt
Idea for the cake. Joints for candles. Do it.
id like to think im the only pot dealing prostitute that is also an ordained minister. but maybe not. what a time to be alive
We do have a rich storied history of emotional warfare
All I wanted was a couple of orgasms before work, is that too much to ask?!
You were so fucked you introduced me to a pile of Laundry
I wondered why I slept in the front room
Man I can't believe I took a huge dump in a public garden
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