I just blew up the bathroom at work and now I feel like a new woman
our health teacher's ringtone is Bad Romance and she has a tramp stamp. i will not skip this class, ever.
she actually told me to ignore the cokeheads in the corner with knives.
I really hope our interview with channel 6 last night doesn't air or else my parents are gona get a first hand look at my alcohol problem
and then some norwegians asked us to be in their porno.
Okay, we really need to start training for the St Pattys parade. 48 hours of green beer won't end well if we don't prep ourselves. 2 week bender starts now
Whatever. I'm just trying to get my dick sucked while taking online harmonica lessons
The black hole just entered the party man, I can literally see guys starting to move towards her.
True. On an unrelated note I helped post bail for both of our ex girlfriends last night. Russian roulette: guess which one is pregnant?
I gasped. Both pairs of lips did.
Remember when we partied so hard that dude died and it cockblocked you hooking up with my sister?
I forgot that happened. That's the second dude that died on a vacation I've been on
I woke up snuggling a bottle of water while Hercules played on Netflix. Whiskey Wednesdays
I swear, the cow we tried to tip tried to eat me. and all I could think was, oh how the tables have turned. worst trip ever
not that i'm not about exploiting men for money
No fucking Jell-O shots or meth. Those are the rules
Randomize
