Can you send me a pic of you vag, I'm sexting the guy and he wants a pic but I didnt shave
dude are you serious?
I know you already have a pic on your phone
oh my god i just remembered the cat blow jobs.
I'm sorry I kept calling you a pussy... but to be fair, you were being a pussy.
I won't be able to make it. Too hung over. Can't hold down fluids. I'm in the bathtub trying to hydrate my body through osmosis. And yes, Tequila Tuesday is totally still on for tonight.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The police report said that there were 25 cases of bud light, two hookers fighting in the street, 13 cop cars, and two road blocks, a kid got tazered, another got maced, and over a hundred people in the house
So that means its a bad thing that your dad found it huh?
Triple a is towing cars for free tonight and tomorrow night. Can we take advantage of this ?
I'm gonna call it the Reunion Tour. Hooked up with two different ex girlfriends in one day...
We were simultaneously boning chicks 3 feet away from each other. Do you realize how much that upped our 15 year friendship?
Must say, as a couple, she and I are thrilled that our pretend lesbianism has paid off.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What would you say is a healthy ratio of sex vs. being called a fucking asshole in a relationship?
I need to sanitize my soul.
Being a slave to ur dick is exhausting.
I swear to god if you eat that last piece of pie while I'm gone I will never speak to you again. I'm so serious.
I mean I made my therapist laugh so hard she cried....so yes, my life is literally a joke to everyone
Our love of vodka is more proof than a maternity test
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