If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
Idk. We dropped acid and Kevin ran away again. We didn't find him for like 3 hours.
Man I wish I had been there
Yah we found him in the pool shed of some elderly couple. They were on the porch watching all of the shenanigans. ...To be young again.
This guy behind me is answering all of her questions. I may give him a lapdance to take my next test for me
The guy I fucked last night is well worth up the ass tuition. I just wish I could tell dad thanks!
HE KEEPS WALKING AWAY. IT'S LIKE HE DOESN'T EVEN LIKE FRIES. WTF.
I wasn't sure how he was going to followup "so,i shot myself.." i guess "w a nail gun" is the best choice out of what I expected
I think the multiple Sunday morning sirens outside my window are a plot by the cops to get back at me for the shit we pulled last night. Or I should move to a better area.
do you remember when we thought we were both knocked up by the same guy like two days apart and would have half twins? Thats a best friend moment.
Is it counter productive to ride on my exercise bike with a cocktail in hand?
People were wondering why I started hanging out with him after high school, the simple answer is now that I don't see his dorky ness everyday I can just focus on his amazing penis.
Tomorrow I need you to slap me in the face. I'll explain then
I'll like his pictures on Instagram every once and a while so that when he sees my name he is reminded of the best blow job he's ever gotten.
COCAINE IS GR8
You know its a good morning when you wake up with blonde hair extensions in your pocket. . .
Accidentally texted co-worker instead of bf “I’m wfh tomrw. Nooner? 💦”
Randomize
