Id pretty much put it in anything at this point. Jello. Dogs. 12 year old boys
for a minute I thought I needed to put on pants to go get a burrito, but then I remembered I'm in college
You asked me to be the big spoon, when you passed out on the stairs
Dude you has no fucking this poptart
What?
I dont know to explain this.
Just don't have "pin the tail on the straight edge" as a party game... Please and thanks...
that freshman chick we always see on the weekends walked into art class wearing a jaegermeister shirt and holding a monster, which she proceeded to shotgun with a pair of scissors. It sickens me to know I will never achieve her level
walk of shame this morning involved walking through the in-home daycare that she runs while it was full of kids. judgemental little shits. on a plus, got a juice box and a graham cracker for the walk home.
Did you hear about Miss Teen Delaware? From the snippet they played on the radio, I knew exactly what porn company it was from. Maybe I should cut back
I had to break it to her that she was not in fact behind the bushes when she peed on the church last night
He fucked me in his tour van, I feel like an official groupie.... Except I don't even listen to his band.
Dicks are not precious.
I deleted all traces of him from my phone
even the dick picks he sent you?
no are you nuts? saved that shit to my camera roll
I puked on her cat, I think I should at least buy her breakfast
He told me he felt the only proper thing to do was fuck me to the top of the corporate ladder
i just used your hair clip to unclog my bong. i miss you so much!
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