Wow anytime a scalper has i need tix written on the back of a franzia box thats a trusted seller
At the time, making out with dudes for keg money seemed like a genius idea. Now I realize it was borderline prostitution.
He said my labia gave my vagina a "cute personality"
I think the tooth fairy visited me last night... after I chipped my tooth n blacked out, I woke up to my purse filled with cocaine n sequins.
I think they were making kool-aid in my bed. There is lots of sugar and my hands and face are stained blue.
i decided this morning while eating my breakfast of red bull and cold pizza that i should take a vow of celibacy
I know he'd never cheat on me. It'd be like choosing Mexican tap water over Patron.
We're having play-off hate sex for a sport I don't even understand. Go USA!
This girl looks like an elf and is obviously on coke. I want to be her.
I'm at a new rock bottom. Malibu on ice at work because it's the only thing they've got and no mixers.
you dont know your limits until you wake up with a black eye and a bruised rib and find out you got ran over by a bicycle last night
Do you ever have one of those days when your breasts are just fucking awesome?
2016 was supposed to be my year of being a ho, but I guess 2017 might be too.
if you're wondering why I texted you some girl's name at 4 am it's because you wanted to Facebook stalk the girl who gave that Irish guy we met at the Chinese food place her license and said 'call me'
I'm pretty sure I smell like alcoholism and shame. And it's not a pretty scent.
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