Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
i feel as if last night was a right of passage. to officially be an adult you must have a drunken one night stand with a co-worker and go to work the next day still drunk wearing yesterday's clothes...
It didn't go so well. He got drunk and asked my dad if 'front or back' virginity mattered more.
why weren't you at the audition last night?
booty call before role call
he's downstairs watching tv with my family... I called the home line so my mom could bring me my make up bag cause my real face would prob make him delete my number
i am breaking up with you. because you wash your hair too much and you only drink light beer and because you're not party enough.
The drunk teletubby stumbling out of the place tipped me off..
Ok that kid was ether gay or 12 with a beard.
You said you were going inside to sober up and then you poured yourself a wine glass of warm gin
He blew a .19 and then slurred "well I did have some rum cake earlier today officer".
I'm still drunk. it's summer. I just need a hot dog and an aspirin.
Beer bonging to Ave Maria
My vibrator looks like a lipstick tube. So does my mace. I just realized the potential problems of keeping them both in the same bag.
I can't decide if I'm depressed or if this is just what life without a bidet feels like.
Thanks for the reference. If your boss hires me, I'll buy you a drink.
If my boss hires you, I'm going to need it.
Randomize
