do you know mcdonalds refuses to give out large cups of water now? you have to buy a bottle or they give you a small cup. No exceptions.
RUDE.
I said FINE, then I'd like 7 small waters and 2 of those nifty carrying cases to carry about my h2o.
outsmarted mickey deeeees
Who would have guessed that ordering a vodka lemonade at Roscoe's was code for I want a hand job
Literally been drinking for 10 hours. Hammered. Roasted chestnuts fell out of my shirt earlier.
At a St Pats house party. Just raised $110 for two short chicks to crawl into a dog cage together. Video forthcoming. Respect.
I wish they could condense everything I needed, nutritionally speaking, into mike and ikes
do you remember when we thought we were both knocked up by the same guy like two days apart and would have half twins? Thats a best friend moment.
She was throwing my stuff away and then before I knew it she was sucking my dick. It was like some fucked up sour patch kids commercial
In times of desperation, never...NEVER put green apple scented hand sanitizer on your vagina.
It's tough not drinking when the bartender adds rum to your coke without telling you, and doesn't charge you
Well while you were being a dick I was taping back together a cougars broken heart
He said that he made a girl squirt to the ceiling and I got curious
I figured if he was OK cheating on his gf with a guy, he'd be OK with me posting his number to m4m Craigslist Ads
Wow two curved penises in one weekend. I feel like this may be good luck. Like finding a four leaf clover
Only thing that feels right is being horizontal in the fetal position
I love that you put so much thought and effort into your nudes
I don't send half assed nudes. Go big or go home.
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