No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
so i was eating a special k bar this morning for breakfast and started choking on it so i reached into my bag for water turns out it was liquor.
I found them in the kitchen microwaving bottle rockets chanting U.S.A U.S.A U.S.A
We used the solo cup bag for her hair tie. Desperate times call for desperate measures.
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No no don't get confused. We do chemistry homework on Thursdays. We screw on Fridays. Other than that, Words With Friends is our only communication five days a week. We are NOT dating.
All i've had today is coffee and ketchup packets. I need a job like yesterday.
He straight up just had me drive all the way here and when I got here he was drinking a cup of tea and right after said he needed to go to bed
Remember the thing I sent you? "Often complex problems are best solved by thinking like an animal." Hump away!
I woke up naked with my work shoes on
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I love the barter system - he got laid and I got him to bring me some ibuprofen. A win-win really.
We walked 3 miles to the strip club. Stopped for roadies, it wasn't that bad.
The last thing I remember is being given a cup full of absinthe and deciding I needed to wear my tool belt
You were returned to the hotel by someone wearing a priest costume and carrying knives.
HE IS. YOU SHOULD TOUCH HIS BACK.
IT IS A COURTSHIP RITUAL.
THE MUTUAL BUTT TOUCH IS SACRED.
Saw throw up in the parking lot at work, glad I'm not the only one. But now the search begins.
Mary's wearing shades at her desk, brilliant!
She tied me to the bed and did lines off my chest before sex. I’m going to put that on my bucket list just so I can cross it off
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