I texted him about a book we both like. I was expecting a "ya great book... let's bone" response. It didn't work
Is it wrong that im more embaressed about the karoke than the toplessness?
She's pissed. She declared she was moving out and proceeded to pack 3 pairs of shoes, her electric wine opener and ONE sock. Then told us to have fun paying her portion of the rent.
Yeah like 200 white people came and they are playing that one Biggie Smalls song everyone knows.
A client gave me a bottle of vodka today. And he was hot with a beard. It's like he knows my soul.
When I see myself in tank tops and push up bras I seriously wonder why I'm not President.
Plus I'm on the toilet and I can only describe it as if someone had kicked the cap off of a fire hydrant.
I just woke up on the living room floor at my parents house. The last thing I remember was making a scene at Buffalo Wild Wings because our waitress "Sent the game into overtime" with a 0-0 score
Pretty sure my first birthday present will be a pic of an 18-year-old's cock. And I am OK with that
At first it will make you think "how is this physically possible?" and then it will ruin an entire food group for you.
He and his ex stood there talking about going to get Chinese food while I was half naked searching for my panties
Threw up on break at work. That brings our collective tally to 9 times. We can never drink like that on a monday again
I just tried to dye my pubic hair teal for her
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
Mandatory face masks - finally, a solution for lip augmentation failures and bad breath.
Randomize
