pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
It was my birthday today and i decided that i am not checking my notifications on facebook so ill feel popular
Wrong number and your a loser
Dont judge me. He may have been ugly but he was INCREDIBLE. He's like the Susan Boyle of sex.
Medicore although I woke up with the business card of a Turkish lawyer called Mufasa...
At least our walk of shames never included a bag of chips and a jar of queso..
I think I suffocated him while I was riding his face
Twas the night before the bachelor party, and all thru the house...not a creature was stirring, not even a stripper?...
Trying not to look at her chest is like trying to not hear a fire engine racing by.
Spider-Man is making out with Wonder Woman while Captain Kirk feels up Princess Lea. Nice to see nerd barriers broken down at Comic Con.
Grindr hookup awareness: always make sure that you agree to blow one person and they aren't bringing a Friend/boyfriend. Shits weird when you're sober.
I have a boner in one of my pics with her which no one noticed.
I sent my roommate a text from MY phone that said, "I don't know where my phone is." Must've been a good night.
How are you feeling?
I mean, shattered dignity aside, not bad.
And that is why I love you so much. You have the same cold black heart as me.
So I almost broadcasted the porn from my phone to the boardroom chrome cast
Randomize
