Have you learned any life lessons?
I like big butts and I cannot lie.
it doesn't get any better than taco bell and soft core porn
If I'm having a dream where I'm having sex and I can actually feel it between my legs because I've had a lot of it recently, does that make me a whore?
I have a feeling this is a serious question. Problem solve, Jess.. I'm going to let you figure that one out on your own
They made my facebook status "I got my period!!!." Every guy I've had sex with at college liked it.
as soon as I walked into work this morning, my boss called me out on my hangover, patted me on the back and said I'm getting time an a half for even showing up. Did I really look that bad this morning?
His appology was" look at it this way, at least you'll give better head without those teeth.'
I don't even remember what he looks like. All I know is he's 6 foot 100. I like that.
idk about you, but when i sext i just hit em with the "yo lets bang" text
Charles Manson is Getting Married and I stare down at my tits and wonder how I am possibly single.
I don't think I bit anyone but I woke up to scrapes knees, bruises and new friends.
Just once I'd like to go out and not have to tell you to put your pants back on.
Anal on new furniture sounds like a quickest way to violate a warranty
false alarm, still single
like honestly, the vodka had to go somewhere, and your moms soap dispenser just seemed right at the time..
I know he’s married, but he’s still a guy with balls and a dick. He noticed my cleavage and stared at my ass. He’ll call.
Randomize
