it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
You better get here soon. I'm about to spend $30 on a cactus online
she asked me what the final straw was. i had to tell her i caught him jerking off to digimon porn. i don't know what i'm more upset by, that he was masturbating to cartoons, or that he was masturbating to sub-par cartoons
The crazy thing is, I dont actually know where the cat is, she said something bout the back of the toilet and a sock.
Some one left their pants in the elevator.
You told her to step on the scale because you had whiskey goggles, and scales don't lie.
Lucas & I had a photo shoot with her cape & I had child arm floaties on most the night.. woke up in a spiderman bed
Post walk of shame: realized the underwear I put on when I left was another girl's underwear.... woof
i officially have over $300 in my bank account. that's a year's worth of chipotle.
I think I just danced on the bar. With a man named Alabama.
Thank you for turning 21. I'm going to love reading your texts.
Stoned in some guys basement listening to ELO. it's like its 1978.
Let's fuck under the stars. And by under the stars I mean in my bed underneath my glow in the dark star stickers.
You just put lesbians and Hogwarts in the same sentence. Of course I'm in.
DIBS on your mom for my beer pong partner.
My roommate wasn't home and I was too drunk and tired so I peed in the trash can. Twice.
Randomize
