I just rolled a spliff on a dora the explorer tv tray. Preschool education meet afterschool special.
There was jim beam in your oven. I just preheated it.
I'm covered in salsa and facewash. I think I'm doing something wrong over here.
She got a digital picture frame for her birthday. FINALLY - a place for me to sneak all those penis shots I've taken with my iPhone.
I'm writing my will in case I die this week, it'll be saved on my computer under: little 500 death scenario
I think for all the guys in my phone, I'm going to change their pictures to pics of their dicks. It's easier to identify them that way.
I just watched dragonflies fucking. You can't match that level of geek.
I need to find a more grown up way of dealin with a hangover at the office than pringles and mountain dew at 8:30 am...
oh no, don't get me wrong.. she IS really pretty. If you are in to horses or Sarah Jessica Parker.
He drew a bath for me. It was only cute until he started throwing in celery and calling me soup.
I think there is a legit party going on the place we thought was AA
FYI: Brian said he left me in the bathroom Friday night to shower and 45 minutes later found me with a towel around my head, my pants on and holding my boobs. No more Jell-O shots for me.
I just set my messenger to Away so I could run downstairs to masturbate. Working from home is the BEST
Blame the bisexuality and move on?
I'd send you a picture as proof but I want to marry him some day and that would be a deal breaker.
Randomize
