they say celebs die in threes. leave it to billy mays to throw in one extra COMPLETELY FREE!
i just hugged the lady at the liquor store goodbye for the summer...
i am exhausted. it's been years. we both know his dick is small. the jig is up.
If you are wondering why there is half eaten pizza in your pocket it's because you were passed out with it in your hand in my bathtub. Today's your b-day and thought I'd give you a good idea about what happened last night as a present
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ya these assholes wanted to like sit around and eat cupcakes and watch the notebook. I was like fuck you, I want to go make some people uncomfortable in public.
I'be color coordinated the clothes in my closet and my underwear drawer. I'm like an advertisement for house arrest. Help.
Just found out that guy A from the threesome I had is now dating guy B's younger sister
Remind me never to smoke before babysitting again. Ate an entire bottle of children's gummy vitamins.... not an easy thing to explain to parents.
Just saw a rice crispy commercial and got emotional. I need to go home.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh my god the guy at DQ just gave me the number 69 and winked at me
Please don't bang more than two exes at a time, just so I won't get confused.
For someone who wanted a break I'm getting way to much dick
I'm nothing if not determined to sleep with everyone at that company
Her name was Danica but I felt like it would be hard to say drunk so I called her Shelby
Put down the Captain Crunch and get over here. It’s a dickfest!!
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