I assume you are not resopnding because you are having sex thus i give you a text message high five
Last night we hooked up in nothing but out UK shirts during half time. Never say I'm not a dedicated fan again.
we were boning in the bathroom when her boyfriend came upstairs. I wish i could remember what happened next more clearly, because it had to have been hilarious
Then he took his girlfriend's fuzzy handcuffs and locked me to their bed. Key is in an unknown location. He's surprisingly idiotic, for being premed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So I vaguely remember making out with you this morning, I think you were on a date?
I'm an EMT, not a miracle worker. No, I can't fix your sprained dick.
I think we should take up crocheing or stamp collecting....something completely lacking penises
I just saw a bunch of drunk old guys riding on the side of a modified old fire truck yelling at cars and smoking while they looked for parking...promise we will be just like them when we grow up?
I'm craigslisting fire trucks as we speak
YOU DON'T JUST GET TO CALL AND SAY YOU MIGHT BE DEAD, THEN NOT ANSWER!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She walks around topless and loves making sandwiches. That's how a one-night stand turned intoa relationship
Also-when I die, I want it to be with my arms above my head so that when rigor mortis sets in, my breasts are perky.
He offered me free drinks all night if I could beat him in a drinking race. I blacked out after that but just found his credit card in my bra so there's that.
PLEASE LET MY BIRD FUCK YOUR BIRD
Your girlfriend agreed to a threesome, I saw dogs in a bar. It seems life is falling into place for us
Dude I had my dad cock block me once
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