Gentlemen...shes not going to tie her self to the table...
I don't know. I guess at the end of the day I wanted taco bell more than a boyfriend.
Totally get that.
he asked me to hangout with him...and his son
this must be what syphilis tastes like
I'm drugging my best friend. I'm like a whole new level of bitch.
A kind stripper put a blanket over me last night
I just wanted to share with you that my life has come to naked arts and crafts, to fix my flask, with a rum and coke in my hand... Good luck on your exam
How could you give up sex for lent? I gave up religion for lent years ago and never looked back. Or give up civility, not sex.
It is officially Christmas time in Chicago. There's a drunk hobo on the CTA singing the first 2 lines of Frosty the Snowman over and over and over.
The yoga party turned into an underwear party because we are all incompetent when it comes to tying bed sheets.
This has been a Party Success Story
I was cracking open beer cans, throwing them off the roof, and yelling "FRAG OUT!"
No worries, I've prioritized my homework into "can do drunk" and "should be sober" categories. We're good.
Update on my sex life: my calves are sore from masturbating too much. It's a thing. Look it up.
I swear to god my spidey sense only tingles when someone’s about to die or you’re being a hoe.
MY GUT IS TELLING ME YES AND SO IS MY VAGINA
Randomize
