I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
I guess we had a small kitchen fire somehow when we decided to bake fruitroll ups and croutons...
This show inspires me to have sex in space
It reminded me of the time my mother gave my Bailey's in my stocking when I was 14.
Quick question: how long can sperm live in a rug?
she asked me which thongs i though her boyfriend would like best. fuck the friend zone
I just feel like Im gonna be remembered as that one RA guy that used to sell weed
I shouldn't have to thank you for taking off your captain hat off before we had sex
I've just stalked all the hot guys who have clicked "attending". I now know which guys are "yes", "maybe" and "no". I only hope my drunk self remembers.
VAL. THIS MOTHERFUCKER IS LAYING IN MY BED WEARING A CAT SHIRT, VAL. COME SAVE ME, VAL.
Drunk you wants to be petty, not you you.
It's a lot harder to work after sex than it is to work drunk... just saying.
He's the douchy one who wouldn't let me rip his shirt off, right?
He showed his fake to the cop and was like "does the coloring look off to you?"
Randomize
