I love being friends with rich people. I get laid by association.
Tampa is so boring. I'm dying. I want lots of cleavage at my funeral. If i cant get laid, i want my friends to. I'm that kind of person
I shaved my legs finally. I am starting to remember what my skin feels like.
Your TV has the DVD menu for White Chicks permanently burned into the screen. I can't anymore. That's just a whole different level that I cannot comprehend.
He says he's "masters drunk." And if that's anything like "kentucky derby drunk" I know enough to not go over there.
He asked if I smoke and I said "only fools like you on the basketball court!" Then I started crying. I think I'm about to have my period.
I can smell the sangria seeping out of my pores
Plus now I feel weird sleeping with you. It's like shooting a three legged deer. It's already at a disadvantage and couldn't get what it's full potential deserves.
I just found my lube on the ground next to my bed. I would pay money to find out what the fuck happened that night.
I don't know if I should feel proud or ashamed of myself...ashamed for making myself a drink at 6:15am or proud for actually being awake that early.
Is there something wrong with us? Seriously.
Possibly, but I'd rather not fix it.
I'm going to target high, just in case I ask you where my paycheck went later
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
so i may or may not have just had sex on the stage of the lecture hall....
I mean his penis was perfect in pictures but its even more perfect inside me
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