You dropped me off at the wrong girl's house.
There's no such thing as a "wrong girl" make it happen.
alright see you in the morning.
How did people poop without Blackberrys?
Motorola Razers?
Stone age, man.
You wanted to speak to the manager of mcdonalds as to why a "bag of cheeseburgers" isn't a menu option.
HER PREGGO ASS BROUGHT SPEGHETTI-O'S... IN HER PURSE.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
what date should I let him know how fucked up I am?
theres a turtle on the table. helping me eat my ramon noodles.
i dont even mind you always shaving my pubes when i pass out, i'm starting to find it liberating.
did you know that if you have sex in the elevator on the way up that people can still get in?
Hey guy that stepped on my foot, don't slap my ass to apologize.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You're doing a terrible job of letting me hook up with girls vicariously through you.
Thats not real though. Slash there are other extenuating circumstances to lead me to believe dick is wanted
HOLY FUCK I SPELLED EXTENUATING RIGHT ON THE FIRST TRY. IM THE BEST DRUNK NA
I wish you looked at me the way you looked at my brothers penis
He said he wanted to sit next to the fountain so he could "watch the water hit the other water".
You start to question your morals when you wake up at 430 and there's three people naked...that you don't no
Idk why more people don't drink at work ... i mean, yeah, the cash might be off tonight, but my customer service is fucking phenomenal right now
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