Charged a drink to your name last night. Thanks for the whiskey
My cousin just told me i smelled good. She must like the smell of cum.
whore
I can hear my fat mexican neighbor yelling "do you like that!" ...I hope its not his dog
just had sex in his gielfriend's bed, and puked all over it. i need to get out of here.
some gay kid said he wanted to blow him because "his eyebrows told a story"
I NEED TO GET TO THE PLAYGROUND. I JUST NEED TO SWING. IF I SWING MAYBE THE SMELL WILL COME OFF OF ME. I NEED TO SWING
Power went out. She lit a candle and gave me head. Made some pretty impressive candlelight cocksucking shadowpuppets. Must be what porn was like in olden times.
I hate find pieces of condom wrappers on carpet. It's like god is throwing flakes of shame for me to vacuum up
he fucked me with his goalie mask on. it was like sleeping with Darth Vader
No. DON'T DO IT. Friends don't let friends fuck clowns.
She said she didn't feel right fucking on her parents dining room table I grabbed the only thing around bubblewrap she blew me for creativity
When Ben was deep throating pickles last night I actually reconsidered our relationship
New rule: if you don't think racism exists, you don't get to put your penis inside me.
I mean you're asking high Chelsea. I'd sell myself for a rice crispy
I had a dream that I was smoking rasberries out of a bong. THEY WEREN'T EVEN DRIED...
Randomize
