would you object to me following you around all the time with a video camera and selling it to TV? Your life could make me millions.
me texting you is like we have secret walkie talkies.
i feel like someone uncorked me like a wine bottle and pulled a living animal outta my arse.
The seats are awesome but you see two of each player.
My balls had bee stings let's just leave it at that.
I legitimately sent him a storybook of naked pictures.
were lost, were cold and we don't know what to do with the stray cat we found.
Just finished off a roll of paper towels. Celebration blunt?
I don't understand but I'll be there in 5
I have to stop drunkenly making out with guys just because they're tall or have a beard.
Idk I've been drinking all day and they're having me blow shit up. Like dont let the drunk chick play with fire and explosives. Common sense 101. I will fuck something up
It's Saturday night and I'm getting shitfaced alone while reading Dino porn. Wassssuuuupppp
I've done dumber things than this for flimsier reasons. Come with. If I pull it off I need a witness, and if I fail I need an escape plan.
Sorry. We had to leave because I knocked a guy out for saying "yolo".
Are you feeling better yet?
I need a nap and a new butthole
is it bad that I'm more worried about having to take out my piercings than the fact that I might be having a kid
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