When I woke up his cat was sleeping on my face and i had scratch marks on my neck. not happy.
only room for one pussy in that bed.
I'm twenty-five. I'm too old to be watching my friend throw up in Chipolte Parking lot.
its family weekend so i'm givin my little bro a tour of everywhere ive thrown up on campus
throwing up turkey will be a nice break from throwing up ramen
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we've decided to start cutting you off when you can't figure out how to work an ipod.
Well Im currently dressed up as batman raiding frat houses for booze
you can't wake me up at 4am to suck your dick and then give me a high five at the bar
IDK who she called, but some guy came into the party, flying drop kicked Joe said never again. She has to invite him around again.
You kept telling me how warm your bag of vomit was and asked me if i wanted to feel.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've discovered that regular handcuff keys, sadly, do not work on real police handcuffs.
I missed rounds this morning...my senior resident hooked me up to and IV and made me stay in the clinic because he said I didn't look presentable enough to walk around the hospital
Nothing says summer like lemonaid, but nothing says fuck yeah summer like lemonaid and vodkavodka
I may not be his cup of tea, but I bet I'm his 10th shot of tequila
Turns out end of the world sex is H-O-T, HOoot! I'll be the only progressive lady smiling today
His phone started ringing when we were pulled over and he said 'hold on, this is most likely more important than you', proceeded to answer it and agree to work sunday, then hung up, looked at the cop and told him to continue.
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