I'm in your bed right now
Okay meet you there give me 10
Don't think you can make me leave either
Give me ten I ha e to be ******'s wingman I want you
Please tell me its not ok to love a 17 year old....no matter how hot he is and how sexy his eyebrow ring is oh lord
She made me add her as a friend on fb before she got into my bed... I sense a stalker
i wish i could google "things to eat in my fridge" so i wouldnt have to go downstairs and be disappointed
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And then I saw the naval officer and gave up that whole new leaf thing
just had to sit in the middle of an aisle in stop and shop because we're too hungover and needed to take a break.
Please tell me your aunt didn't see the Brita pitcher full of condom wrappers. We had at least 100.
Saxophones in my mind. I swear someone dosed me.
It's been so long that I've occasionally forgotten I own a vagina
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up on the dog bed, bottle of alcohol still in hand and my thong was hanging off the family portrait.... Yikes
Well. I went to a frat party where they mixed gin and Mountain Dew. My kingdom for some olives and vermouth.
I traded my pants for a Santa hat last night and it was so worth it.
yea plus he's gonna be wearing his gumby costume so that'll take a lot of pressure off too
I never realized how weird our shower smells until I cracked a shower beer and had a familiar aroma to compare it to.
I'm eating ice cream out of my purse
Randomize