We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
Superbowl and Mardi Gras a week apart. World's longest bender here I come.
Changed my sheets. Found a can of rockstar, crushed bag of tostitos, used tissues, and enough of both of our clothes to make a whole outfit.
It was some time between the gurgles of her blowing me to us throwing up in the same bucket afterwards that I realized we would be doing this a lot.
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He kept insisting that I was going to have an orgasm but it just felt like he was rubbing sand paper on my vagina
Just did a walk of shame dressed as a cowgirl and walked past his ex's entire sorority. Yippee kye aye, motherfucker.
Let's just say my vagina is not superimpressed with the superintendent of schools.
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
after the shots you kept on yelling "this is for the dreamers"
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you invented a new sport called "bacon pulling" and you cried everytime a piece broke
I think I just danced on the bar. With a man named Alabama.
Thank you for turning 21. I'm going to love reading your texts.
The bald guy bought me a shot so I chugged it and then walked out to the middle of the dance floor and told an old woman that might be your moms twin to bend it over...We didn't end on a good note though. Dude she stepped on my vans.
We had a One Night Stand 6 months ago but he just Facebook invited me to his wedding. Who the fuck does that.
It was a frighteningly large penis to say the least
I walked outside and found some random guy passed out on our front porch. We managed to acquire the 12 pack of lagers he had so it's all good.
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