You know what, matt, a girl is not really that interested in a relationship if she goes down on you the first time she meets you
if you don't let us come over today i'm not taking the second plan b pill. your call.
the snow is so cold on my vagina.
why do you have snow on your vagina?
vodka and heels.
I asked him how he was going to celebrate tomorrow and he said "tits, clits, and bong hits"
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Between the booze, mechanical bulls, and penis's I think my body hates it when I'm single
Just paid off my possession ticket on 4/20. Helloooo awesome.
Look, if I'm too lazy to put any effort into sexting, you better believe I'm too lazy to put any effort into dating.
I'm staying at his house to solve the homeless situation. There's a freezer bag of weed in the fridge. He doesn't know it's there, and he's not missing it so I may have an income soon.
Yep, that just happened. My mom just gave me a big bag of drugs for my birthday. She even put them in a fancy bag with tissue paper.
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I can't believe I'm giving you play by plays of this sexting convo. It's like a three way he doesn't know about.
Probably yeah. I mean maybe one day we can be those friends that hang out naked. Not awkard at all.
I couldn't break up with him while I was wearing a Hakuna Matata shirt.
its been well over a year and hes still saying sex with me was epic
If it were up to me his wife would never get his penis again, but I guess they have some sort of arrangement
Yes, an arrangement called marriage
She just texted me saying "come over and eat me out, my vagina smells like honey glazed ham." I know I shouldn't be, but i'm just so curious.
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