I woke up naked in my living room and my mom was next to me like we need to talk
So he says he needs "alone time" a day that he doesnt have to deal with anyone. should i be concerned?
I think in guy language thats " Im fucking someone else and dont want u catching me"
Do NOT cum in me, on me, or in my bed.
he's a nude model. what could you have done to make him feel awkward??
You were pretty fucked up... decided playing hopscotch down the stairs was an excellent idea.. it was extremely entertaining
She gave me a blow job and her mom gave me blueberry muffin afterwards. I love them.
so if i die before i go back to school its because the thing we found in the hallway that i've been smoking out of is a crack pipe
ok, my life is complete.... the cops AND the paramedic just made a Mean Girls reference...
My autobiography is now tentatively titled "I'm Fucking the DJ, and Other Ways to Party for Cheap"
I think I'm the only sober person in the whole bar. If you count drinking less than 10 tequilas sober.
Nothing says "welcome to Denver" like a hot 18 year old giving you directions to the dispensary and ending up blowing you in the backseat
Bacardi 151 is like a past nightmare I'm still curious about
It's really hard to masturbate now that I live with girls who actually function before 11 am.
well you did quote socrates while playing beer pong and then proceeded to fall down
Im gonna start dry humping the manequins and see if i get fired.
Randomize
