all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
Reason #82 that I need to get laid: my pubes are getting split ends.
Just downloaded the entire Justin Bieber album sober.. I think you know how I'm doing.
It's sad that your definition of adulthood entails banging your boss after getting hammered at happy hour, and putting the tab on the company credit card.
I don't know where I am and I feel like a hippo shat in my mouth. This sofa is comfy though.
An we can hold bottles of vodka in our hands singing yo ho a pirates life for me
I can't ever date him again. Whenever I see his face I just remember helplessly pissing myself in my car.
when I woke up, he was drunk and singing "soft kitty" and petting my face
When you glanced over and and mouthed "I'll take the fat chick" I knew it was going to be an epic Sunday night.
Let's go. I'm waiting for my time to shine among the stars of never never land. Make sure you bring my Peter Pan costume this time. Shit's bout to get real glittery.
Spending Thanksgiving making a swinging profile brings the day to a whole new level...
If muffins & morning blowjobs don't make him happy, frankly, I don't think anything will.
Besides, I'm booked tomorrow. I'm planning on drinking heavily and crying in the bath.
It's 7am. I'm sitting on the curb in last nights clothes with a nose bleed and no idea how to get home. Low moment I feel.
I'm seriously considering starting a savings account so I'll have bail money this summer.
Randomize
