Well we can cross off dogs, dating sites, and real life as ways to help you meet a chick.
It was unlikely that the relationship was going to end with anything other than antibiotics.
No I'm not proud of you for not sleeping with him. He has herpes. You don't get a gold star for behaving how you're expected to. Trust me. I'm a teacher.
The fact that its 10am on a gameday and I have yet to shotgun is absurd
She started to rub her ass on my shoulder and i instantly thought "i am going to get E. Coli"
She was either really drunk or really not interested. Everytime I tried to ask her about herself she would respond with a line from Stepbrothers.
Also, last night I had a dream that I was in a victoria's secret fashion show and they made me wear a t-shirt over my lingerie. Spring dieting begins now.
She trust falled out of a window. It was like that scene from A Little Princess but with a lot more blood.
I think I just used lyrics from the Sister Sister theme song to let a guy down easy...
It's the happiest looking penis I've ever seen. It should have a top hat and a spectacle on and soft shoe across the room with a cane. He's a cheery little feller.
seriously, who doesn't want to get shitfaced and have sex to the backstreet boys?
Trying to figure out why my back is hurting. And then I remember I got fucked up against a tree last night
Nothing like ripping open the box with your keys on a sat R train and throwing back the morning after pill with some coconut water on my way to work at a fitness studio for free
this vacation is helping with my sexual bucket list so much. threesome, deaf guy, and outdoor sex all accomplished.
Still drunk, heading to class.
It's 3 a.m. Dude
Doesn't mean I'm not at my desk. Ill wait.
Randomize
