I got three cases. When they asked for id I said it was suspended for drunk driving.
He snuck into my grandmothers house, broke her lamp, fucked me, then had breakfast with us the next morning. I am an awful granddaughter.
I'm in his phone as "nashville blowjob" he also has "cleveland blowjob" "vegas blowjob" etc. i'm okay with this.
New plan for Halloween: you dress as Waldo, I'll dress as Carmen San Diego. We can just hide in a closet drinking till someone finds us.
Okay good. I don't want another mom thinking I got their daughter pregnant.
I think we've had way too many heart to hearts in the Mc Donalds parking lot for this to be a healthy relationship
Well she started to strip and when she slung her hair at me, she painted my face with sweat. A LOT OF SWEAT. It was a weird boner.
These past few weeks have been a lesson on why you don't put your penis inside girls who live in your building.
we're like the harlem globetrotters of underage drinking
Is it weird that sometimes I like to have sex for the health benefits and workout more than the pleasure
How bad was it?
Stopped drinking Sunday, hungover on Tuesday bad.
NOT ALL OF US HAVE THE HANDS OF GODDAMN ANGELS YOU KNOW
On a serious note, don't let me forget to tell you about firecracker baseball. I'm glad I have my fingers. I had to count them.
I just feel like if we dated, he'd just be crying the entire relationship
During my first week as an adjunct prof, I played a fiercely fought game of squash with a law student and we wound up having hot, sweaty, angry sex right on the floor of the court. She is either the best or worst thing to happen to my academic career. Will let you know.
Randomize
