Whoever said drinking more helps a hangover didn't drink 96% of a fifth of whiskey last night. This is absurd.
woke up to the trail of sugar cubes leading to my bed........was i that uncooperative last night
He upper decked the toilet, got himself lit on fire 6 times and lit 4 other people on fire in the course of 3 days.
THERE IS PRACTICALLY A BEER FUCKING WATERFALL
Kate gave me a 3 day old cup of tequila last night and forced me to chug it. P.s. i drew u a picture
I vagually remember taking your birthcontrol and washing it down with ash water
Going to.goingto.gtoing to DIE DIE DIEEEE......i feel like everyeone impotrant in my life like MLK is judging me.... saddd day
I'm lost. Please come find me. I'm inside the I-270 circle somewhere. I can hear laughing.
you peed off the balcony at your sisters and asked someone below to catch it with a cup
Clearly it doesn't get better with age. Just more sexual
I'm throwing in the towel on today. The puke gods have won this war
It's whatever. Titanic is about to be on and we have wine, which is basically crying juice. Leo, Kate, and I will be having a lovely, pants free evening.
I'm sending him pics of me in my new lingerie telling him to come over and when he gets here I'll have changed into like sweats and a 5 year old shirt with ketchup stains on it
I came so hard my ears popped.
I texted him back and I am so nervous I may vomit up all of the soup I just ate.
Randomize
