i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
Sorry I wasn't really responding earlier. I was really fucking high and so into that car chase.
I'm eating cereal out of the pocket of my flannel right now
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He googled the address of the bar, then sent me a text saying "6.3 miles. Too far. :( Apparently I am only worth a 5 mile radius.
I will be your sherpa up the mountain of gayness
So update from last night: I made friends with a coke dealer, I tore the card scanner off the wall of my dorm, and I passed out on our bathroom counter with my head in the sink.
This hangover is so bad, we are pregaming Chinese food with pizza.
Dad just asked me to breathalyze grandma
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just found out that my husband and I are Eskimo siblings. What in the actual fuck?!
Yeah man... I ordered donuts, drank wine, and cried to a movie with Seth Rogen in it. Do you really think I have my shit together?
At least is you came to Milwaukee to visit me you'd get the best mind blowing sex of your life and free wifi. Who doesn't want free wifi!
If you don't see me at the bar tomorrow night, I was most likely captured by the communists.
Not exactly hook line and sinker right away, but I'll give him a second chance. I should sext him me in my blue shark onesie.
Would the comment "Down Goes Frasier" be too inappropriate at this time?
Randomize