I can't get into him, he looks really young. I'd feel like I was blowing the Gerber baby.
I got him a footlong to apologize for trying to push him off a balcony...
Like. I probably should fuck him. I owe him for breaking his thumb.
Between the dance party in the car and the distraction of the momma bear and two cubs im a cops wet dream roght now when comes to wreckless driving.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She looked at me and said "i like penises." and then passed out with her condom balloon animal in her hands.
I let a naked juice spill down my leg for like 30 minutes bc i thought i was hallucinating that my leg was cold.
I usually don't buy birthday presents for my booty calls
But you'll make an exception
probably not
You passed out with your mouth on the faucet, straddling the keg, with your arms wrapped around it
I sincerely thought making it to McDonalds by 10:00am was a shoe-in but it appears that I need to adjust my zoom when looking at the map before walking to places.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
But the Super Mario beer pong table is more than appropriate.
I just figured out the time exactly by how many shots and beers that I've had since this morning. I either have a terrible problem, or a great solution.
Someone broke into my car last night. Didn't take anything, even left the beer in my backseat. They need to get their priorities straight, obviously.
You wouldn't put pants on to see my parents.
So I love answering sex questions in intimate relationships class on a clicker when im sitting next to my cousin..
I HATE BEING THIS HIGH FML IT'S LIKE I'M MAKING UP FOR ALL THE 4:20S I DIDNT DO ALL AT ONCE
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