Regardless of the degree, it's probably not good to relate so closely to the Steve-O documentary.
I had another sleeping on concrete incident.
Security brought me back to our hotel room in a wheelchair last night. Vegas.
And if you ever tell anyone that I will fucking kill you.
I know everyone screamed lady cop instead of cops. I wanted to apologize to her for our chauvinism
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The sex was so good I went temporarily numb. Slightly embarrassing when she pointed out I was kissing my own arm.
in my defense, he kept drinking all of my water.
he had diabetes and you told him to stop being a pansy!
Day #3 of being the only sober person at the bar. This is depression.
I took Xanax and it did nothing to me. First sign I'm crazy and actually need it.
I woke up in someone's flat in Budapest and then got offered a free piercing before I left. Best. Hookup. Ever.
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You put on some guys Birkenstocks that were abandoned on the dance floor overtop of your flats. Then ran out of the bar high gives the bouncer and said "look at my new kicks" then he was like woah wait a minute someone is missing those and made you return them. You were very upset
You know i love you, but i just cannot fuck you until your eyebrow grows back. It's too hard not to laugh.
I'm having a funeral for my vibrator. Please be there. I need your dick for support.
Now in listening to Jerome Bettis speak at the hall of fame and my boner just started twirling a terrible towel
Funny story... I got into my car and my porn started playing over my Bluetooth.
Having a bangable neighbor is going to ruin my booty call game. I refuse to go across town for dick now
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