im marching my happy ass in there and im not leaving until he cheats on his girlfriend!
It is obvious to me now why clam chowder & beer aren't a good combo.
Home remedy for the herp. Black tea. I need to strap teabags to my wang.
Just opened a bottle with my rape whistle. At least it's finally getting used for something.
She bent the beer can with her tongue. I'm scared of what she'll do to me
Okay, lets just agree to keep all cutlery related activities to a minimum.
well i just got discharged from the hospital after getting pegged in the head by a t-shirt gun so thats how my night was.
omg i met someone at the bar who sells hair feathers. that are long. saved in my phone as "haiirs deather"
Hey just wanted to let you know my nose is broken and I have a fractured wrist. I told you it wasn't a slip and slide.
Dude I didn't think you'd do it. I mean come on, who puts a slip and slide on their driveway?
Now I don't feel so bad about telling everyone that he's 23 and needs Viagra. It's her problem now
I take to many stalker pics of him. If he ever looks through my phone he'll never give me sex again :(
Can we relax the "married man" rule just once?
She said I can't embarrass her, the challenge has been set
If by science you mean beer then YES!!!!
It's less than a hour into 2020 and I already want to punch some people in the face
Randomize
