he was wearing sponge bob boxers. Guess how long he lasted.
It smells like Drakkar Noir and desperation out here.
That's why you should quit smoking.
We walked because you started screaming when you finally realized he wasn't Ben Bailey and it wasn't the Cash Cab.
good thing vaginas are great cup holders
Hooked up with my first aid and cpr teacher last night. She dressed as a lifeguard and brought me back to life. Beat that.
third eye blind makes so much more sense now that i have a drug problem
What happened on tuesday that a stripper knows my full name?
plus shes a stripper, ive been with strippers, if you fuck this up your penis will never forgive you
If you fool around, take the WHITE sweatshirt off of her first. It's mine, and I don't like your cum nearly as much as she does.
I don't think my prof knows we've noticed her No Bra Fridays.
yep you were here saturday. if you woke up smelling like vanilla i can explain.
We were running down las vegas boulevard at 8:30 am with our beers cause we were late for our flight
I woke up the other day with my Google browser open to "DIY lip injections"... I also just received a vial of hyaluronic acid and a package of TB syringes from amazon. I'm down.
I will have no part of this.
that game of battleshots got way too fucking intense. why does the couch have burn marks now.
Did I tell you about my dream that I got handed a $100 and my vagina dissolved it? I think it wants me to not be a whore anymore.
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