I pretty much can't stop smiling when I talk to you. Even when you talk about disease and infectious diarrhea.
Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
I'm sending you this that that when you wake up and see the girl sleeping next to you, you know who to thank
He yelled IN THE FACE!! while cumming on my face.
My mother's day gift to my mother is to promise never to tell her 95% of the stories I've accumulated in my life.
I thought I would take a shower to wake me up but now I'm naked wet and stoned laying on my bed instead of just stoned laying on my bed
Amazing how you can get from "Merry Christmas" to sex in three texts.
I could have done it in 2
I figure that my generation of my family needs an alcoholic. I'll take that burden.
Well my ankle is fucked up, everytime it pops I have a reminder of $200. Jager bomb night and the day we began to rebuild our friendship.
OH MY GOD THE LITTLE GIRL IS SITTING WITH US WHILE WE SMOKE. I'M NOT DOING THIS
So I told him it takes a lot to get me drunk & he said he was the heavyweight champion in college. We high-fived. Obviously I'm the favorite child.
This is me trying to take a picture to send to grandma. At 4. We were trying to look sober.
I don't care if it's 2 inches or 20 I mean dick is dick
well it was naive of you to actually think you're the only bday sex he had lined up for him today. I'm just suprised he actually had a line forming outside of his room
Seriously. There were about 4 hours in which I swear my nose was not attached to my face.
Randomize
