do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
i really need to stop putting makeup on my cats..
just once i'd like the "right thing" and the "topless thing" to be the SAME THING
we're going to dress like we're asking for it, because we are
we flagged you as soon as you tried to put the lime in the microwave to prove it was really a kiwi. again.
Woke up with my foot jammed into a VCR
Oh my Christ. I just came so hard my penis stood back up and took a bow afterwards. I need Thai food.
The whole time we were hanging out my vagina was yelling at me like its a real live penis that wants to have sex with us what are you doing
I'm the only person who goes to break up a friends with benefits and comes out with a boyfriend
What kind of true American would I be if I didn't just smoke weed in my bathrobe on my back porch in the middle of suburbia on 4/20? #stepmomoftheyear
Sorry about the nipples in that snapchat. It was meant for the Australian.
He poured champagne on my pussy while he ate me out. I found my unicorn.
I just feel weird about accepting their wedding invite when I've got a post-engagement video on my phone of him jacking off in my bathroom.
i ate pretzels. i might be the first human to be hospitalized from pretzels. that's how bad this is.
He was eating me out on a picnic table on the frame lake trail and right after I came, a group of hikers walked around the corner. Stood up just in time
And this is one of the many reasons why you need a car.
Randomize
