how do I tell the students with a crush on me, that yes, I am open to receiving blowjobs in exchange for grades?
Spending my graduation money on an abortion. Welcome to the real world.
i dont trust my judgment anymore so im only going to fuck guys who can donate blood at the red cross. they have standards.
I'm watching my cat lick a used condom wrapper on my nightstand and I'm too hungover to move and do anything about it. Tequila Tuesdays can not be a thing.
I told him I was on the pill and it was OK to fire away. I want to never have to wear panty house or ever go to an office again. This is my early retirement plan. I want half of his NBA money.
I am never taking a razor down there again. He'll have to love me as I am.
Is it unethical to trim my bush hair with the scissors from my office?
Definitely! I will do that this week. Right now, watching drag queens play with my dad's beard.
we told you you couldn't get your dick sucked because you were a girl and you yelled at us and said we were 'discriminating you'
if i ever get to the point where i am moaning when i pee, please do the honorable thing and kill me.
I don't care if he's the coolest coworker, if he's living in his mom's basement at 30 you should not buy drugs from him
I should have known when she said it would be "fun" we'd end up in the hospital
i now regret my decision on turning down your offer of sex in the backseat
Sorry, my phone died and I decide to charge my vibrator instead. #priorities
Never again will I go to my mom's side of the family's parties. After the bride and groom cut the head off the roasted pig together they boarded their RV and rode off into the sunset.
Randomize
