I will be horny for about another two hours. Feel free to call me until then.
She asked how far humans have gone into a volcano because they did in spy kids. She was serious.
Then she yelled something like "YOU HAVE SO MANY FORKS!" before collapsing on the floor
I have no recollection of sleep choking you
Hahahahahahhajahahahahajajjajahjahahajahahajajahahahajjajajahahjajajajajahahahajjjajajaahhahhahahahahahahahaha dominos taxi
If a hot cougar texts u and says "back massage, blow job".... you show the fuck up.
Why is there an ambulance refusal in my pocket? I'm never going drinking with you again.
I can't even remember the last time I took my own pants off
Im gonna wear a random assortment of things for Halloween, guy with the most creative answer gets laid
Great news! In less than 2 hours, I'm ripping your underwear off with my teeth!
Sober me admires drunk me's enthusiasm, but there is no way I'm going to make it out there today.
Lol drunk you is so full ideas and happy. Sober you is full of grumpy reality.
Would you consider masturbating to Hocus Pocus an adulthood high or low?
he said "GREAT SCOTT" as he was cumming.
I have photo proof.
Girl, don't care. What's my rule? If I don't remember it, it never happened.
God I miss you. I would very much like to have sexual intercourse with you. I'm home eating chicken alfredo.
Randomize
