i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
do you ever lay in the bath and watch the blood hit the water?
EWW. Don't discuss your period with me. You can go shave your back now.
i sneezed during and he said it felt like i gave birth to his dick...then asked me to do it again.
He is so amazingly handsome. I just wanna fuck every shred of decency out of him.
I tried to interpretive dance to Candy Shop to stop the awkwardness.
Joined a porch party below me by climbing out the window and jumping off the roof. Tonight will be good
Oh thank Jesus fuck for my shitty infertile womb. Crisis averted
She can't brag about all the anal sex she has and then expect me not to awkwardly stare at her boyfriend when she brings him around
Best ethics paper a stoner could write. I called my professor Dr. Superfly Arandia. And I'm pretty sure I used "respect the hustle" somewhere in there too.
She came 4 times, called me a god, then made me breakfast. I don't think she is ever going to leave
Do me a favor and scream dirty things at him in a polite sexy, come hither way
I can’t believe I made out with a flat earther and didn’t know about it until now!
I don't want to date him...I just want him to cheat on his girlfriend with me.
You know you have an interesting job when you go to work and have to Google search "How to get poop out of a dryer".
isnt it crazy how for years we were living our owns lives, and now only a wall seperates us?
stop. eating. my. shrooms.
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